hhmm? wheres to poop??

My husband has a saying "Every conversation eventually leads to "poop".  He uses a more explicate word, but this is a G rated post.  Its so funny, because he's right. Our lives revolve around poop.  You always keep track (maybe subconsciously) of how many times you go, if its a "good" one, a runny one, a hard one, or none at all.  If you have cramping or a belly ache, mom and the Dr. always ask, "when was your last movement?" 

When we have children, we get so excited over a poop.  If your baby is fussy, "did she poop today?".  When she does poop, we have to describe it to our friends and spouses. "Annie pooped the whole way up her back today",  And honestly, how many of us have applauded a baby's poop?  "Yay, you pooped, good girl"

Now add animals to the mix and you got loads of poop.  We had horses, there poop is pretty easy to clean. big clumps, you could pick it up and throw it like a ball if you wanted (No, I have never done it).  We have cows. Now their poop is awful. Big runny piles of it the size of a small space craft.  sometimes they stand up against the barn wall and splatter it six feet up it.  Nasty creatures, that's why we eat them.  We get tired of scrubbing poop off the walls.  Chickens and ducks are pretty nasty too (hence the eating).  Ever hear the expression "runs like a ducks butt"?  Well, there's merit behind that saying.  They can't go five minutes without leaving a green and white splatter behind them. And once it dries, its a pain to get off.  I've scrubbed more chicken poop off my porch and sidewalk then anyone ever should have to. 

Cats!  Cats have to be the nastiest.  They are so nasty that not only is their poop nasty but their pee too.  I think they are so nasty that they are not in the eating category.  Don't get me wrong, I like cats. I like to pet them and play with them, but I can not own one any more because of their poop.  Cat poop is where I draw the line. And that's all I have to say about that.

Now to the poop that started this post, Dog poop.  The best pooping dog I ever had was a doberman mix named Fancy.  She would always cross the road and poop in the corn field. We never had to worry about stepping in it in the yard or chopping it up with the mower.  She was such a good dog.  I had a Springer, Max, that would only poop in the driveway.  My dad would get so mad. I would defend the dog and say, "but daddy, the grass tickles his butt".   My first Heeler, Tucker, was a great dog in every way, except his pooping habits.  I dont know why but with 150 acres of land to poop on he insisted on doing it two feet in front of the front porch.  I would get so mad I could've shot him. Well, actually, I did.  Willie bought me a BB gun and I would ping him in the butt every time I saw him start to hunch into position.  It didn't work. He still did it when I wasn't watching.  Our Beagle is just as bad.  She poops all through the front yard.  She will be in the woods running a rabbit for two hours but wait and poop when she gets home.

Now to Maggie, our new Heeler puppy.  I am determined to train her right.  Every day I climb my mountain of a back yard to the edge of the woods so she can go.  I want her to know this is the "designated bathroom".  I am failing in my efforts.  I climb to the top of the yard only to have her pee then sprint down the yard into my flower garden full of mulch around the house to poop.  I scream at her and I cant catch her without falling and skidding down the hill.  So now she goes to the door when she needs out.  I open it and watch her. Guess where she goes?  Right into my flower bed. WTH????  So today I'm going to start taking her on a leash so she can't sprint down the hill.  I'm going to make her poop in the woods.  I don't know if it will work.  I can't take her out on a leash the rest of her life.  The whole part of having a "farm" dog is their independence.  So we can leave for a weekend and know they will be sitting on the porch when we get home.  No need for a "doggy" babysitter. 

So wish me luck.  Hope you all have a good "movement" today.